Waiting for the sun

After a few days of waiting, these lovelies now get to go outside and play. And I get to reclaim my kitchen table. Here's to a hearty season of herbs and vegetables. And for the sake of these blurry pictures, here's to yesterday's tripod purchase, too.



Today I'm participating in the "How I Met My Honey" carnival at Ramblings by Reba. My entry is here. Go check out a few of the stories if you're in the mood for some pure and unadulterated sap and cheese. :)

Please send help immediately.

I totally got sucked in.

I added the Turbo Jam to my cart? And then clicked check out?

And then it kept offering me all these other Really! Amazing! Offers! And I just kept clicking ……

YES! Upgrade me to the MAXIMUM RESULTS Package!

YES! Upgrade me EVEN MORE to the Elite Package!

YES! I want 3 additional Turbo Cardio Party workouts PLUS, send me 2 free gifts!

YES! I want the turbo sculpting gloves and FREE upgrade to express delivery!

YES!

So in approximately 3 to 5 business days you can find me in my basement with this exact look on my face:

Macro

I've been playing with my new lens extension tubes I talked about here, and I think I'm in love. This first shot, I swear to you, is straight out of the camera. I planned to Photoshop it, but all my normal tricks didn't do a thing for it. Which is fine, because I'm pretty proud of myself for this shot as-is. I have no idea what type of flower it is, but it's growing like a weed in my mom's front yard. How's that for low-maintenance gardening?



And the flower below grows on a tree right outside my office. Don't let it's sweet little face fool you, though. This flower smells like CRAP. I enhanced the red just an itsy bit in this one.

And this is from the same stinky tree. This one was a mess. I had to completely re-color it. I'm happy with it now, though. It feels springy.
So all you non-n00b photographers out there: critique away! (That means you, Dani.)
The End.

p.s. - are photography posts boring? Should I keep them to my other blog?

Transcript

...of a voicemail I received today. I so wish I could tell you who it was from, but some of her friends and co-workers could read this blog (I am famous, you know) and I've been sworn to secrecy.

First a little back story, for ultimate appreciation's sake: I'm doing a diet called Medifast, which is similar to Jenny Craig and the like, where some of your meals come in the mail (protein shakes, bars, soups etc.) and the rest of your meals are lean meat and green veggies. With no added dressing, butter, salt or other condiment might I add, which is very difficult to stick to, and some days the only way I get through is by licking grilled cheese sandwich remains off my son's face while he and anyone watching just think I'm pretending to gobble him or shower him in kisses. But I digress. So Medifast comes with this cute little measuring cup which you can see pictured in the post where I dumped my purse. (It's in the top right of the photo.) We use this cup to measure the water for our protein shakes and oatmeal and stuff, so this cup follows me everywhere because without it, I'll end up with runny oatmeal or a watered down shake because I can't for the life of me measure a cup of water by sight. Another digression. The point of this paragraph was to tell you that my anonymous friend and I have taken quite fondly to referring to the act of being on the Medifast diet as "MF-ing" and to each other as "MF-ers", in reference to the diet only, of course. Oh, and that we drink about 100 ounces of water per day, which means we go to the bathroom about 34 times per day, and if you are one of those who personally feels 100 ounces of water per day is just!too!much! to be healthy, please kindly keep those personal feelings to yourself, as I have already heard two unsolicited pontifications on the matter today and am no longer in the mood to smile and nod at you.

Well. Now that you're more than equipped with all you need to understand this voicemail, please brace yourselves. You just can't make stuff like this up, people. I didn't even hear the last 20 seconds of her message the first time I listened because her final twist had me screaming at the top of my lungs in shock and horror. And secret delight. And now here it is, word for very word:

I really hope you didn't press ignore when you saw my call because I have something really gross that I have to confess. And I don't know WHY. But maybe I'll just leave the whole thing on your machine and you'll have to deal with it.

So in my office... there is NO bathroom in the building because we're in a TRAILER. Because the main building is overgrown. We're moving into a new building in September. So if you want to pee you have to go alllll the way across to the other building, and I'm sure you can imagine how that sucks when you're MFing because you have to pee a LOT.

So I had to pee SO BAD. And I knew I was not going to make it over to the potty. I knew I was--I WOULD PEE MY PANTS, MCKENNA. But I'm embarassed to say that, because I know it's childlike. And I know this voicemail is TOO long, so I peed in my Medifast cup--I'M NOT GOING TO USE IT AGAIN--I had to PEE--Yes.

I peed in my office. I shut the door and peed in my Medifast cup. There you have it. kbye.

p.s. If you're reading this and think you know who's message I transcripted (transcripted is not a word, apparently), think again. I have more than one, yea, more than two friends doing Medifast with me.

Transcript

...of a voicemail I received today. I so wish I could tell you who it was from, but some of her friends and co-workers could read this blog (I am famous, you know) and I've been sworn to secrecy.

Now, brace yourselves, people. You just can't make stuff like this up. I didn't even hear the last 20 seconds of her message the first time I listened because her final twist had me screaming at the top of my lungs in shock and horror. And secret delight. And now here it is, word for very word:

"oh hell. i really hope youd idn't press ignore when yousaw my call b/c that would be so like me andi ;d feel bad
so i have something really gross that i hae to confess... and i don't know why... but maybe i'll just lvea it on your machine and you'll have to deal with it.

so i n my office in h there is NO bathroom in the building because we're in a trailer. Because the main building is overgorwn. we're getting a new b in sept. so if you want to pee you have to go all the way across to the main builgind and i'm sure you can imagine how that sucks when you're doing medifast because

The sad, lazy truth about my bathroom.

It remains clean for the most part. It's just that some days, after getting all my "get ready for the day" junk out to use, I just can't bring myself to put each item back in its appropriate drawer. So I stack my comb, blowdryer, root boost, glossing cream, de-frizzer, flat iron, and moisturizer into the open top drawer.

Well after a few days of doing that the problem is now this: the top drawer is so full that I can't close it in order to be able to open the middle drawer in order to put all that extra stuff away in order to be able to close the top drawer and have a neat bathroom.


Tomorrow will be the 4th day my bathroom has looked like this. Because who on earth has time to move all that junk to the counter so that I can open the middle drawer to put everything in its proper place? Not I, said the McKenna.

First

Mixed emotions today, mostly overwhelming joy and gratefulness.
Thinking about Carter's birth mom. I wish I could wave some sort of magic wand and make her life as perfect for her as she's made ours for us.

The other day I was Googling myself (I do this weekly) and got a little carried away with the search results. Anyway, one thing led to another and I found myself at a message board about people who are addicted to eating candles. Yeah, no really. Here are some snippets that will give you the jist:

AT:

what are candles made of?. can anyone tell me about the impact of eating candles?..i like to melt them and eat them .. i light aa candle and tilt it so that melted wax falls on a bowl..it also has some black carbon particles on it. and then i eat it warm.

Natalie Goobernau:

Candle wax tastes like gum. If you roll your candle in melted butter before consumption it's even tastier.

Erin:

My kids think I am crazy. I LOVE to eat candles. It started when I was young and liked to eat crayons. Not just any crayons, not just any candles. I love non-scented emergency candles. The texture, the taste satisfies me like nothing else . Does anyone know if this is dangerous?

There were several other entries along these same lines, and I just couldn't help but be a big fat jerk:

Me (aka "baMama"):

I am starting a company called "The Candle Diet" would you guys be interested in helping me with product testing?

I can't wait to see the responses.
Here's the page, if you'd like to join their support group, weirdo.

Naked and Famous (name that tune!)

I.M. message I sent to a longtime friend of mine today (we both recently picked up photography):

"Rememeber that one time in high school we were so poor we couldn't even afford ONE SINGLE SHIRT so we both contributed to half of the purchase and then spent the next 3 years fighting over whose turn it was to wear said shirt to school? Although tempting, let's not ever do that with our camera equipment."

Last night I bought a set of lens extension tubes for my camera. I took a 3 hour beginner's photography class and they offered 15% off to all the participants for the evening, so I just couldn’t pass it up, especially since I had been drooling over a $600 macro lens for MONTHS now, wishing I could afford it, and then the teacher told me OH DON’T GET THAT WHEN YOU CAN GET A LENS EXTENSION TUBE because they provide the same effect for much less.

So I believed him.

And I bought them.

And I took pictures with them around my house until 11:45 last night.

And they are awesome.

And I am pleased.

And I can’t wait for warm weather because I really need to go on a nature walk with my new lens extension tubes!

Plus they make my camera look REALLY FREAKING AWESOME and HUGE.

Which makes me look awesome.

Which makes people think I’m famous.

And they want to give me money.

Amen.

Twitterer

I'm on Twitter, people. And it's almost as addicting as World of Warcraft.

Help.

Or? Be an enabler and start Twittering too. Then follow me. And I'll follow you.

I'll trade you an Edward for a strange bearded man.

I'll get right to the point. Last summer I dared Steve to read Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series AND Scott Westerfeld's Uglies series. He agreed, and in exchange I had to promise to read just the first book in his favorite series, George R. R. Martin's Song of Ice and Fire. "Cover to cover, Kenna" - that's what he told me, sure that I'd be hooked on the series after that.

Well, Steve has long read all 7 books from my challenge to him, and I have now officially read 7 pages of my part of the deal. I'm having a hard time getting in to the whole fantasy thing. I read three pages and then turned to Steve in bed, and this happened:

"What's this Night's Watch they're talking about, I don't even understand what's going on."

"Just be patient, it will explain it all."

"When?"

"In book three."

"Steve, this book is 924 pages. How am I supposed to put all this together?"

"Easy. When you read book three and it explains it, you'll remember 'oh they talked about that in book 1.' "

"Ask me what I had for breakfast"

"What did you have for breakfast?"

"I. DON'T. REMEMBER."

I consider myself pretty bright. I know I can get through this book if I change my attitude about it. Just please. Is there anyone out there who likes purses, shoes, pedicures and PINK who has read this crazy guy's books, and if so, can you tell me they're wonderful?

Check George R. R. Martin out: http://grrm.livejournal.com/


I think I'm going to start posting a picture of myself in every single post.

Is this considered a meme? Cause if so, I have to slap myself now.

Summer just dumped her purse the other day, and it was neat. And it was pretty. And it was organized. And at first I thought to myself how I would never be able to do such a thing because my purse is more commonly referred to as The Black Hole than it is "my purse". But then I thought, "Or? I could dump The Black Hole for the entire internet to see. And then one third of the entire internet could laugh. And one third of the entire internet could be disgusted with me. And the remaining third might just breathe a sigh of relief that they are not the only ones who really need to clean out their purse.

I was going to keep it really real at first and just literally dump it onto the couch. But the diameter of crap didn't fit within my camera frame that way, so I had to line things up in rows in order to get it all in one picture. So maybe you disgusted third won't be quite so disgusted afterall.


Pair of giraffe baby shoes, mostly empty wallet and "5" gum.

Easter egg picture thingy my son made for me at daycare (okay, his teacher totally did it for him, but still).

Measuring tape (just in case!)

Measuring cup to measure water for my protein shakes, because I've tried eyeballing it several times and I can't get anywhere CLOSE to 8 ounces.

Glasses & USD cash.

Cuticle cutter (I cut them a few times per week because I'm neurotic)

Brand new toothbrush (JUST IN CASE, PEOPLE)

Pens, calculator, seven things of lipgloss, The CrackBerry.

Taiwanese cash from my trip there three years ago. It's gaining value every day I refrain from exchanging it. Pretty much my retirement plan.

Santa notepad (procrastinator, or early planner?)

Receipts, cards, frequent buyer punch cards I next to never use, checkbook and kid snacks.

Bottle of pure perfume oil: Jasmine. (Just in case.)


Oh, and by the way these four cards? I used them to break into my house one day after locking myself out. They're completely munched. I learned this trick in high school. My parents got so sick of me sneaking in the house late that they finally started locking me out after it hit a certain time of night (er, morning). Either that or my little brother assumed I was already home and inadvertently locked me out night after night.

So there. I dumped.

What's in your wallet?

another step.