Please Come Home Soon...

Month 5

Dear Carter,

My friend and I were talking over lunch about how everyone's favorite baby gift to give is clothing in sizes 0-6 months. We laughed about how you boys (her boy is 6 weeks older than you) had too many clothes right now, but in a pound or so, you'd have to go around naked. If it weren't for the weather, I could probably go at least another month before your superfluous wardrobe all of a sudden became barren. But Fall has plunged down upon us, and you don't have one long-sleeved shirt in the dresser.


So tonight I went shopping for some warmer clothes for you and almost before I stepped foot in the store, a strange, familiar feeling crept over me. I realized the last time I had gone shopping for baby clothes was before you were born. As I let the feeling set in - reserved yet hopeful - I remembered being filled with so much anticipation for our baby, but I always shopped with many reservations. Was it silly to be buying onesies now, when we could end up waiting for our baby for several years? Did I deserve to be buying socks, diapers, and PJs even though I wasn't pregnant? Every night I would fold and re-fold the unisex clothes I had collected, trying so hard to imagine who you would be. Trying to imagine some tiny, precious thing breathing in and out between my arms while wearing that one striped onesie or that polka-dotted sleeper.

Pure gratefulness washed over me tonight as I shopped without reservations. Tonight there was no need to feel silly or premature. Tonight I shopped for a real live baby for the first time. One who I know loves bath time, his daddy's voice, and nuzzling his face into my neck. One who absolutely prefers dinosaurs on his shirt over ducks. And as I tucked a tiny red cardigan under my arm tonight, I didn't have to wonder what it would feel like to cuddle your little body in it.



I came home to find your dad had already tucked you in to bed. I peeked in on you and watched your belly rise and fall and thought to myself, "I can't believe you're mine forever." Despite the special way we had to follow Heaven's clues to find you, you are undoubtedly a part of us, and we you... and I will never be the same.

Love,
Mommy

Behind...

I'm feeling behind in posting pictures and Carter Updates, so here are some favorites from the last couple weeks.

At the office, laughing at me pretending to sneeze. Auntie Elle discovered that trick!

Egging me on for more sneezes.

Steve documented bath time tonight and here's my favorite from it. This is the morning Carter turned 5 months old. The light in our bedroom in the morning is perfect for black+whites so I strip him down and take some every now and again. I'll post the BWs from this shoot later.

Could you die? It doesn't get any sweeter than this.

Flying

Stop it right now with the chubby knees or I'll have to bite them!

Summer Reading Recap

I have always had a hard time following rules. There's just something about The Man telling me to do things that makes me want to do the exact opposite. This is also a problem for me when setting goals for myself, because then I become my own The Man. And the (The Man) voice in my head keeps telling me to do this or do that and I just can't bring myself to obey.

My mom started a summer reading program over at InkSplasher, challenging everyone who joined to make a reading goal for summer and stick to it. This summer I've read more books than I have any other summer, and it wasn't because I set the goal. It was because I happened upon books that I just can't get enough of. That or I now crave a fictional getaway more than I have in the past. So here's the recap of my Summer Reading Thing:

1. How many total books did you read? Were you surprised by that number?
I read 7 books. It didn't surprise me while I was in the midst of it... how fast I was reading, that is. But in hindsight, 7 books in one summer is pretty significant for me:
1. Bridge to Terabithia
2. Twilight
3. New Moon
4. Eclipse
5. Uglies
6. Pretties
7. The 5th Horseman


2. How do you feel about what you read?
Love Edward. Love Jacob. Annoyed at Bella. Tally's my hero. Huge crush on Zane. Totally bubbly summer.


3. Which was your favorite book, and why?
Don't make me do this. I can only narrow to two: Eclipse and Uglies. And Twilight, because you have to love the first one.

4. Which was your least favorite, and why?
The 5th Horseman. This is the 5th book in James Patterson's Women's Murder Club series. They were never phenominal, but the plots were okay so they kept me reading. Now that the bar is a sexy vampire, I'm not going to finish the series.

5. What about your stretch book? Did you find that you enjoyed it after all? Are you planning to read more of that genre/author?
My stretch book was Uglies. I hate Sci-Fi. Still do. But the Uglies series doesn't count. I'm completely loving it.


6. Did you discover a new author that you're excited about?
Two! Stephenie Meyer rocks my world. Scott Westerfeld is even better at writing, and I love his Uglies series, but I don't know if I'll read his other stuff... just because I'm afraid it won't measure up to Uglies.

7. What did you learn about yourself through this reading experience? Was this fun?
I learned that I love vampires and my son is a werewolf. Very fun.

Come On, Fennie!