Creme de la meme.

How lovely of my friend Jason to tag me.

How long have you been blogging?
I started this blog in April 2005

What inspired you to start your blog, and who are your mentors?

My first post ever was published into the bloggy-void from Taiwan. I was there for a month on business and without a camera. It was a means to communicate with my family and preserve my memory of the amazing culture I was experiencing. My mentors, who of course (obviously) read my blog daily and hang out with me on a regular basis, are PW, Bossy, Dooce, and DesignMom.

Are you trying to make money online, or are you doing it just for fun?

"Online" is such a general term. I am not trying to make money with this blog (although I wouldn't return any checks you feel compelled to mail me). However I am online in many other capacities including a few other blogs I author, and the following online contributions, some of which provide income for me:
www.urbanbotanic.com
www.homemade-spa.com
...and coming very soon – so soon that I can't even allow thoughts of the deadline to creep in or my brain will start drooling out my nose and that? That is something I wouldn't even feel comfortable paying someone to clean up – something I'm very excited to announce the launch of. Here is a minuscule snippet of a completely cryptic, confusing and useless preview:

What 3 things do you love about being online?

1. I love the internet because I am proficient at Google. I can find the answer to anything, ANYTHING on the web in mere seconds. Dare to challenge me. I dare you. I expect this to one day be the hirable difference between myself and another job-applicant front runner.

2. I love the internet because I am truly inspired by the photography, musings and lives of the people I have met through blogging. Steve often interrupts whatever I'm talking about to say, "wait, WHO are you talking about?" ... "hold on, WHO are you sending this package to?" ... "now, WHO are you taking nanny-hiring advice from?" to which my reply is almost always, "psh! SUMMER, one of my BLOGGY-friends, like, DUH!"

3. I love the internet, OH I love you, internet! Because? You make me feel soooo good that some days I can't wait to get home just so I can run upstairs, close the blinds, and shoot you through my veins. Or roll you up and smoke you. But really, best of all are the days when I have cocoa in the pantry so I can sprinkle you all over in my brownie batter and eat the whole batch. And then lie on the floor and watch the ceiling fan swirl around for three hours while I drool on the carpet and dream of someday being as famous as Dooce. Or Pioneer Woman. Or at least Bossy.

(And that keyboard diarrhea is precisely why I am not as famous as DesignMom. Or SarcasticMom. Or at least Amalah.)

Chat and IM.

Never really chatted. Still IM, but only at the office. And only when my voice hurts from yelling across the building.

Um, whoa. That's the end? What a crappy way to end a meme.

I'm not tagging anyone. This meme ends with me. Well, I mean if you want a tag, go ahead and take it.

*****UPDATE*****
I was so high on the internet last night, I couldn't even tag anyone. Now that the brain-fog has died away somewhat, I hereby tag Karlene, KA and Megan.

Sleepy Winter

It's been such a snowy, slushy, disgusting mess for the last several weeks. Yesterday I pulled onto a somewhat stunning sight on my street. It was just before sunset and everyone was inside their houses, hiding from the arctic tundra outside. The neighborhood looked like a perfect white canvas: snow gripping to stucco, painting all four sides of every house white because of the strong wind, not an inch of asphalt peeking through the six inch blanket of snow on the ground.

I pulled into the garage and emerged again one minute later donning a crocheted hat and my camera.

But I couldn't stand to make it past the front porch, which is covered, making it the only bit of color on our otherwise sleepy street. Suburban winter. It was a lovely sight.

Abridged from 4 minutes to 30 seconds

My son called his grandma today. Here's how it went down, verbatim, according to my mom:

*ring, ring*

GRANDMA: Hello?

CARTER: Hi!

GRANDMA: Hi Carter!

CARTER: Hi!

GRANDMA: Hi!

CARTER: Hi!

GRANDMA: Hi!

CARTER: Hi!

GRANDMA: Hello?

CARTER: Dada!

GRANDMA: Helllllloooooo?

CARTER: Dada!

GRANDMA: Hellllllooooooo?

CARTER: Dada!

GRANDMA: Carter, does your mommy know you're on the phone?

CARTER: Mama!

GRANDMA: Hi!

CARTER: Hi!

GRANDMA: Hi!

CARTER: Hi!

*throws phone, starts to whine*

I walk across the room to pick up the phone and it says "Connected: Mum"

KENNA: Hellllooooo?

MOM: Did you call me on purpose?

KENNA: Ummmm. I got too tired of telling Carter he couldn't have my cell phone so I finally caved and let him just have it. He's been playing with it for 5 minutes.

MOM: Well I've been talking to him for 4.

I see how it is

We’re sitting at the dinner table talking, and all of a sudden this strange feeling comes over me. It was this sick feeling that I was halfway mistaking as a sharp pain underneath my cheekbones and between my ears. It was nothing like the pain you have during a sinus infection, more like that salty, tingly feeling you get in your throat right before you puke, except the puke feeling was located under my cheekbones. I realize this makes me sound like a complete nut bar, but I swear that’s exactly how it felt. Anyway, it came on really strong and sudden and I was trying to concentrate on the feeling to figure out what on earth it could mean, and I must’ve looked a little dazed, because this is what followed:

“What’s going on? You have a weird look on your face.”

“I don’t know, I just had this really weird feeling come over me. I’ve never had this happen before; I have no clue what it is!”

“Is it like really peaceful and calm?”

“Huh?”

“Yeah, like there’s nothing to be stressed about and everything in life is juuuust fine?”

"Ha, ha. You're soooo funny."

Dear Carter,

Please don't ever make a diaper like that again.
Love,
Mama

Honey, have you seen my lipstick?

Just got back from a party our friends were throwing where a bag of liquorice was being passed around. And please don't confuse that with licorice. You can't get away with putting some Twizzlers on a plate and telling your guests it's liquorice. Everyone will know it's just licorice. I never knew gourmet liquorice existed until a few weeks ago when Steve and I bought some at a local chocolatier for around $36 an ounce. The stuff was amazing. And by amazing I mean uh.may.zing.

For a straight week and a half after bringing home our tiny, precious bag of candy, we acted like four year olds. We kept blaming each other for trying steal a piece without the other one knowing. We had to make sure we each got equal amounts. If I got one piece, Steve got one piece and visa-versa, and they had to be approximately the same size. On a daily basis, one could hear shouting coming from our kitchen, "YOU stole a piece of liquorice, DIDN'T YOU?" Candy so good it put us at odds.

So tonight at the party, some liquorice similar to our cherry-flavored gold was being passed around. There were two little girls there, about six, and I "psssssted" them over to me as I slowly and mysteriously reached my hand into the bag and said, "You two have got to try this stuff. Here's one for you... and one for you." Then I waited and watched for their faces to light up. And they did, kind of. Although can I really expect a kid to appreciate fine candy when they have glow in the dark jelly worms at their disposal? I say to the one girl, "It's goooood, isn't it?" as I nod my head in approval. And she closes her eyes and says, "mmmmmm yeeeah. It tastes like lipstick!"

When Art Becomes Work

I'm a little bit addicted to makeup, skin care, and hair care products. It probably all started with the way they smell, because I've always had a special place in my heart for good-smelling products. I'm a non-practicing media makeup artist. At one time, I had a lot going for me in the makeup world. I trained under a high-profile celebrity makeup artist, had a handful of great connections, a three foot tall makeup chest on wheels (equipped to walk onto any set and do any style of makeup on any ethnicity), and an excellent starting portfolio featuring shots from an amazing photographer.

I worked on one movie, which was amazing. Being on set for 16 hours a day was exhausting and exciting. And a lot more work than you'd ever imagine. I loved it though. I worked on a few tv shows which never aired, but most of my makeup career time was spent managing a Nordstrom makeup department and doing tons of bridal makeup. Working retail was so not for me, and the brides? Well, let's not go there.

Makeup became less and less fun and more and more work for me. And I wasn't about to move my husband and I to Los Angeles where all the fun jobs are. So I slowly let my makeup kit dwindle and what you see below is what's left of my kit that I actually use on a regular basis. I wanted to share a few of my favorite makeup products with you:

1. MAC Eyeshadow (my "everyday" palette is pictured above. It's one of four). Among the best shadows I've found so far. When looking for a quality shadow there's two factors to pay attention to: pigmentation and blendability. A lot of cheaper shadows are full of fillers, so you need to apply several layers in order to see the color on your eyes. Other shadows have a great amount of pigmentation, but aren't very forgiving. They stick where you place them. To test a shadow, set your finger onto the shadow (don't twist or rub, you shouldn't have to) and then rub your finger on the back of your hand. You should see a lot of color and it should be able to spread over a fairly large area of your hand (at least a square inch). It should appear to set into the pores of your hand, rather than looking like it's sitting on top of your skin.

2. MAC Pigments (these are the stacked bottles in the back of the picture - and yes, of course you would find them stacked perfectly like this if you were to walk into my bathroom on any given day). These pigments will last you forever and are so, super fun. You can use them for anything. I've used them as eyeshadow, blush, mixed with clear lip gloss for a perfect lip color, with lotion for a body shimmer, even into clear fingernail polish. RAD.

3. There's a tie for my favorite lip gloss: MAC Lip Glass and Benefit's VIP glosses.

4. Brushes are very important. In the picture are MAC brushes but they're not the only brushes I use. Cinema Secrets have some great brushes, even Sonia Kashuk's Target line has a few great brushes. How to find a good brush is another book entirely.

5. My favorite mascara is L'Oreal's Telescopic. The brush takes getting used to, but it makes your lashes look super long. One thing I absolutely hate from MAC is their mascara. It smells like crap and takes 2-3 coats to look good. I don't have time for this stuff! Mascara is one thing you don't need to spend more on to get great quality. Find the perfect marriage of ink and brush that works for you.

Yay. I should review stuff more often.

standby one...

Looks like blogger just blocked all custom templates. So my blog went down. I just switched to one of their lame-o canned templates for now, which simply won't do.

Please be patient with me for a bit while I change hosting providers. While I'm at it, I may as well change my name to something cooler than a disney character. Any suggestions?

Would you...

Would you put your baby to bed for the night, lock up the house, and bring the baby monitor with you to the next door neighbor's house to play board games?

I don't know whether to call this a question of ethics or of parenting style. It seems a little overly judgmental to call it a question of ethics, although if the question were, "would you put your baby to bed and take your monitor to the grocery store" (if the monitor could reach that far) then I would consider that an ethics question. So I guess it depends on where you personally draw the line. What would you do? Where's your line? The front porch? The mail box? The neighbors? Mexico?

And now with my face

Yesterday I posted a swatch of my new hair color and you all commented wanting to see my face along with it. So, okay. Anything to please you, although I thought that's what I was doing by leaving my mug out of it. You know, there's an art to self-portraiture. There's a lot to keep track of, smiling and pushing a button at the same time and all. And I didn't quite accomplish it in the picture I'm giving you, although it felt like I was smiling. So here is my hair and my face in the same photo, so you can see for yourself how the rich brown color and my green eyes compliment each other.


Just kidding! Haha. That was like, sooo funny how I got you there.

Yeah, I'm pretty smooth like that. Pre-tty smooth.
Nevermind my laptop in the background, or the Christmas gift I was supposed to deliver sometime last month but never got around to it. At this point I may as well keep it for myself. Or maybe I'll do another giveaway. Should I? I mean, the last contest I did only had 20 entries or so. I'm going to need more than that this time. This gift is worth $50 and could very well change your entire life's ambiance. Tell you what. I will do a contest and give this gift away as soon as I get 30 comments on one non-giveaway post, so send your friends!



Back to my hair. Does it look red to you? Because I swear in the mirror it doesn't look red. Also, my son just shoved it in my mouth and it doesn't taste one bit red to me.



Come on. Don't humor me. Be HONEST. Am I red?



Whatever! I knew you wouldn't tell the truth.

Before and after

Yesterday I had my every-six-weeks date with my hairstylist, whom I absolutely love. Normally, the day or two before my hair appointment I carefully plan exactly what I want done. I peruse sites like this, and this for ideas. And I show up at the spa with a detailed explanation of what I want. The last three times I've gone, I've had the exact same color and cut done, so I guess I got into a routine and forgot to plan things out this time. I pulled into the parking lot, and as I turned off the ignition, I thought to myself, "What am I telling Ashley today? .... Brown... okay!"

So here is my before and after (I spare you my face). The top is taken from my family pictures and the bottom was just taken by Steve.

Screwing up on day one

My husband and I, along with a group of our friends, are starting a new workout program. Mind you, this is not a New Year's resolution, because I think New Year's resolutions are incredibly lame. Or maybe I just always fail at them, so I have a negative attitude.

Either way, today was to be "Day 1" of our new program. This morning started out just swimmingly, Steve waking up with the flu and all. So we didn't work out this morning. But alas, there are 24 hours in a day, at least 6 of which I spend awake, so be ye not despondent for my fat-less future.

I skipped breakfast and went to the office. My friend at work had a certain relative visiting from out of town (that's what I'll call it for my male readers, you're welcome) and needed comfort food something fierce. So she said we had to have Apollo Burger and I swear to you I did not have a choice in the matter. Out of the kindness of my heart, I had a bacon cheeseburger and some onion rings and a coke (not diet, that fake sugar is complete trash for you). After lunch, I told myself this just means my workout tonight had to be extra long and difficult. This type of sacrifice comes only from the deepest well of friendship and charity.

Came home from work and had chicken, cheese, and potato chips for dinner. Oh, and a Sierra Mist. So at this point I decide my workout needs to be excruciating.

Our friend, Karl, came over so the three of us could take our measurements, weight, and "before" pictures, and BOY HOWDY have I been in denial about my back yard. And my front yard. And my side yards, of which I have 3. Seeing my measurements on paper pained me greatly, so when I had to go up 14 stairs to grab my camera cord for the laptop, I went ahead and sure did go up to the 2nd floor as well, thus adding an additional 16 steps to my repertoire for the evening. Take that, bacon cheeseburger. Take that, homestyle french fries and pink-sauce.

The trudge of things

We took a long Christmas break from the office this year. Went back to work for a couple days last week and after this weekend I'll be back in the swing of things. Although I wish it were actually swingy, like the phrase insists. The negative-whatever temperature outside makes me feel zombie like. I'm craving some sunshine - enough sunshine to make me beg for a cold, zippy swig of something fruity and refreshing. Oh boy, how I need the sun to shine!

I am, however, feeling a sense of accomplishment and slight excitement for a new way of doing things around here. See, most days go like this: get up, go to work for 8 hours, come home too tired to cook, call hubby to tell him to get food on his way home home, eat trash for dinner, switch the laundry, put baby to bed, crash from undernourishment. New Years Resolutions are like, soooo lame, but if I were to have one this year, it would be "do things that make me feel human" and topping that list of things that make me feel human are finding more time and eating real food.

So I spent 2 full days preparing meals I can freeze and then pop in the oven after work. I got a freezer for the garage to store it all, and I'm feeling pretty proud of myself for my collection of frozen grub. (Read: holy crap, I'm turning into one of those things that organizes crap and cooks stuff!)

If you care (which I'm sure you don't), what you see before you is:
4 meatloaves (I make a mean, mean meatloaf, people)
3 pans of chicken cordon bleu
3 chicken pot pies - try it, you'll love it!
3 pans of stuffed pasta, and can I just mention that I have no clue what I was thinking when I decided to hand-stuff 90 pasta unit thingies?
3 pans swiss chicken
10 "batches" (6 cookies each) of chocolate chip cookies, so that when we get a craving, we don't make 2 dozen and then subsequently eat 2 dozen, all by our little, innocent selves.
Several weeks worth of baby food from this book my sister in law gave me, and I love.
2 piles of chicken enchiladas
A few loaves of Pioneer Woman's olive bread which is to.die.for.
5 balls of pizza dough
5 bags of pizza sauce

Each meal serves 4-6 so we can have it for dinner and pack it for lunch the next day as well.

That was a lot of work and I'm so glad it's over, Amen.