26

I'd like to say I have some profound thoughts about turning 26 years old today, but I don't. I've spent my entire life wishing I was older. Many times I have lied about my age. Not lied, but let people assume I was older than I really am without correcting them. I think this stemmed from the time I started my first job. It wasn't a job most 14-15 year olds start out with. Every single one of my co-workers was in college and I had a major age-inferiority complex going on. My dad was "the boss" and I was determined to prove to people that the reason I had my job wasn't because of that fact. I didn't want to be the cliché of "the boss's daughter". I looked older than 15, so when people assumed, I let them. It only became a problem when 24 year old guys would invite me to come out with them to lunch. I remember one guy named Kelly had it bad for me. He had no idea how young I was and when he asked me out, I told him to hold on for a minute and then I ran into my Dad's office to ask him what on earth I should do. Ever helpful, he told me to go out with him and don't tell him how young I was until after he had paid for lunch.

It turns out that while trying to prove my working capabilities despite my age, I had erred on the side of being too good an employee. I didn't realize it until several years later when I overheard a co-worker talking about how she could take advantage of me because I stick my nose in my assigned project, not coming up for air until it was finished, and then immediately go back to ask for more work, like some sort of puppy. Well that was a big wake-up call, and also the beginning of me being a normal employee, the kind that allowed herself to pee during the day. Or stop at the drinking fountain for a minute.

But even since that wake-up call, I've still always worried what people thought of my age, like they wouldn't respect me as much as I deserved. What would they think of a 24 year old woman doing this job? I've often wondered at what age would I finally not wish I was older. What number would it take? When would stop pausing before answering the question, "how old are you?" so that I could figure out how old I really am, since I honestly forgot from lying about it more often than not? Well, apparently that number is 26, but I didn't know it would be that number until the last few days. I'm okay with being 26. I don't feel too young or two old. I'm just 26. So what?