How to Annoy Me

Tell me I can't have new episodes of my fave shows for the next few weeks because YOU don't think you get paid enough money. Well, I suppose I understand... I suppose. But I'm just saying. We're talking about a possible permanent shift to full-on reality tv, every night of the week. I don't think I can take it.

Here are a couple of delightful nuggets to help get us through the strike:

Dwight Schrute: "Agri-tourism is a lot more than a bed-and-breakfast. It consists of tourists coming to a farm, showing them around, giving them a bed, and giving them breakfast."

Barney Stinson: "Question one: Ted, do you want to move in with Robin?...Wrong! The correct answer is: No, I want to stay single and have fun with my awesome friend Barney. Question two: Robin, do you think you can find someone who's hotter than Ted? [pause] Correct! The correct answer is awkward silence.

Michael Scott: "Alright let me ask you this, tell me if you think this is creative. When I was five, I imagined that there was such a thing as a unicorn. And this was before I had even heard of one, or seen one. I just drew a picture, of a horse, that could fly over rainbows, and a had a huge spike in its head. I was five! Five-years-old. Couldn't even talk yet."

PS - Have you entered my Treading Water custom bath + body giveaway yet?

Treading Water Giveaway!

My son is now six months old. Now that the newness of parenthood is wearing off, and I'm starting to notice that a little bit of laundry should probably be done in lieu of 24/7 goo-goo-ga-ga play time, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. I am lucky to be blessed with two moms' examples to aspire toward, and lately I'm wondering how on earth they ever got it all done when we were growing up. Working full time, momming full time, fridge somehow always stocked with food, kids clean, house clean, and through it all I still have a lot of great memories spending time with my moms, and I remember seeing them relax every now and again too. Just yesterday I asked one of my moms how on earth she did it all and she said, "looking back, I have no idea how I did it all either!"

So I'm looking for ways to stay afloat. I'm buying an extra freezer for the garage this week, and plan to make a month's worth of meals for us to draw from using What's For Dinner? I met the author this past weekend at the Utah Women's Show, where I was a fellow exhibitor.

To stay on top of laundry, I'm trying to put one load -------- we interrupt the most boring post ever written for an emergency injection of participatory fun --------

Okay, give me your very best tip for saving time and/or money when it comes to anything in the domestic arena. I'll do a drawing one week from today and send the winner a bath and body gift set with a custom, one-of-a-kind fragrance that's to die for. If you're allergic to lotion or anything fragranced, that's okay! I've had a ton of allergic people tell me this particular product is the only scented thing they can wear. Totally safe for babies too! The rules are you have to leave an honest to goodness TIP, not just any comment.

Send this post to everyone you know who has or reads blogs. I want as many entries as possible... I need all the help I can get!!

Midnight Dumpster Run Confession

We live on a fairly new street that isn't finished being built. About 3 lots down is where the construction is still going on. Our estimations say 4 more houses on this street and we'll be dust free forever. I suppose the upside of it all is free access to three REALLY HUGE dumpsters labeled, "For private use only, violators will be fined $500," which is why we have to wait until after dark to dump our never ending loads of crap in them. Last night's dump (courtesy of our newly organized garage) felt a little heisty, because we kept having to drive around the block to wait for a construction worker to leave. Seriously? 9pm and you're still working, Construction Man? Why is it that any construction worker I have dealt with can't seem to show up on time or stay as long as he promised... and this one insists on working late into the evening?

"Hey Hon, What Should I Blog About Right Now?"

Steve: "Do a survey on when it's appropriate to put up your Christmas crap... because it's not now."

Okay, then, following are my arguments, and feel free to weigh in with your own.

Back in the day when most everyone bought real trees, they had to wait until mid-December to put them up, or they'd be a dried up mess by the time Christmas came around. Now that there are great looking, affordable fakies available for everyone, we aren't forced to wait. We can put them up as early as we want.

On the other hand, part of me feels a little grinchy about Christmas, and because people have come to expect my opinionated grumpiness and sarcasm, part of me wants people to think I don't care about the decorations. I don't want to be one of those people.

On the other hand, I really do care. I love it all, the lights, the ornaments, the packages and bows, the homemade candy (the one I can't wait for this year is the rice crispy caramels with the marshmallow in the middle made by Teresa), the music, ohhh the music! Let's get out the tree right now!

On the other hand, Christmas is about celebrating and honoring Christ's birth. It's about giving and re-committing, etc., and decorating with flashing lights, especially early, shifts the focus to commercialism.

On the other hand, is it really worth it to go through the four hour ordeal of hauling out all the glitter and stringing the lights and hanging the stockings with care, only to have to un-do the four hour ordeal two weeks later? If I'm going to spend the time, I want to enjoy it for at least a month.

On the other hand, bah humbug!

And there you have it. I'm a six-handed grinch!

Some say the day after Thanksgiving. Some eager folks say November 1st. I heard the first Christmas commercial on the radio weeks ago. So what's your take? When is it appropriate and why?

And Now For Something Totally Different...

...Costume pictures on Halloween!

Ladies and gentlemen, behold my husband, the Ursula:



And our little lobster:


And just for the sake of normalcy, since the above of my husband is so disturbing, Here is the every day Steve. See how normal? See how not I-am-woman-hear-me-roar he is?

The Night Before....

I used to sing this song all the time when I was little.
It just popped into my head so I started singing it and realized it doesn't even rhyme:

What are you going to be on Halloween night,
A witch or a goblin or a ghoul?
What are you going to be, well don't tell me,
Wait 'til Halloween and let me guess.

Well, whether it rhymes or not, do you want to play?

Answer this then:

What is Steve going to be for Halloween?

(kind of) Hint: Carter is going to be a lobster and I am going to be a ... well, my mother in law made me feel much better about not dressing up by saying I'm going as a.... Muggle.



p.s. Don't read everyone else's comments before guessing!!!

Now With Extra Dipping Sauce

Instead of clean my house to prevent a panic attack, I chose to overhaul the blogaroo. I'm pretty sure I just broke one of the cardinal rules of blogging by calling this a blogaroo, but wtf.

I was way behind on posting my monthly masthead (August). Now I'm not even going to try to keep up a monthly masthead. This is what you get until I'm dead sick of it. This sappy little ball of sunshine masthead and accompanying design.

Also featuring a link to my family updates. Mainly pictures and videos of Carter, for family and friends to keep up with the personal stuff. I decided to make that part private, so if by your definition you're my family or my friend, send me an email at kennalyn1 at gmail dot com and I'll send you an invitation with password for the family section of this website. (Yes I just called the blogaroo a website. Dooce refers to her blog as a website, so...)

Alright, well there you have it. Oh! If you want to be part of my blogroll, send me a cute button to use, please. Because my blogroll must be cute. kthxbye.

P.S. - Summer, I'm totally copying you with the signature pic. Please be flattered :)

The Calm Before the Storm

Ever since I was little I've had panic attacks. I didn't know they were panic attacks until a few years ago when I read From Panic to Power and realized, "oh thaaaat's what those were!" I'm still exploring myself and don't have it quite all figured out. I can only sometimes figure out the source of the attacks and even then, that source is "it's just a panic attack, that's what they do: attack".

Growing up I always had a really messy room and a pretty disorganized life. But it always bothered me. It wasn't because I'm messy by nature, it was because I had so many hobbies with so much accompanying STUFF and when there wasn't a place for every little thing, my brain couldn't handle it, so it would just flip a switch and poof! I could completely block out the mess until it got so bad I literally couldn't see a patch of carpet or close my bedroom door. And then I'd Tasmanian Devil my way through the mess for four hours until it was perfectly clean.

Luckily when I got married, I was able to quickly implement some better habits to keep things running smoothly. Er, Running. Today I don't have a perfectly clean house, but I obsess over having a perfectly clean house. What I am is a crazy perfectionist with no time. When I think of the word "laundry", I see all my sweaters folded by color on top of each other, perfectly aligned so that not one thread hangs too far outside the width of the rest of the stack. Socks that smell like dryer sheets, not one shred of lint stuck to them and rolled into meticulous rows in my dresser drawer. I've come to realize if I can't have all that right now, in this installment of the ever-revolving laundry project, my brain will start leaking out my ears. So as a preservation method, my brain blocks "laundry" out of my realm of existence for the night. I sincerely forget that laundry exists on my planet. My brain is preventing a panic attack that would occur if I try and fail to have the perfect closet tonight.

Well, why can't I just go all Bree Van de Kamp-Hyde on the place and make it perfectly clean 24/7? I really hope I figure this one out before I die. Ha!

So the last two days I've felt a strange itch under my skin, and I know what it is. For perhaps the first time in my life, I can tell that within a few days, or maybe a week, I'm going to have a grand maul panic attack. I just can't do it all. Work full time. Be a mommy full time. Be a wife full time. Keep the house clean. Cook dinner every single fricken night so we don't die of fastfooditis.

Right now? Right now I'm not even stressed about it. Tonight I'm cool. I'm going to go switch the wash and then empty the dishwasher. I'm may not be making a dent in the big projects I need to do, but I'm keeping the day-to-day at bay. But within several days I'll put my tenth finger in the dam. And then the water will poke an eleventh hole. And then it will happen.

So because this is the first time I've felt one coming on, let's see how this goes. If I can feel this gurgling beneath the surface, does that mean I can prevent it? Can I just hurry and clean out the storage room, move the office downstairs to the new basement, wash every window, get the dead plants off the front porch, et. al. and then sit... and wait... and see if it never comes?

*Seven Days*

You have seven days until Halloween. That's seven days left to prepare yourselves. Hopefully this will help.

Carpet Standoff

Just about the only item left on the list for finishing our basement is installing carpet down the stairs and through the hallway. The rest of the basement is hard floor. Yesterday we were looking at carpet options and a brilliant thought came into my mind. Since we're carpeting anyway, we may as well replace the bottom-of-the-line, poorly installed, {pretty sure} not-padded, "stain attractant resistant" carpet in the living room of the main floor. It's a small enough area and wouldn't add much cost, all things considered.

Steve of course is not a fan of the idea. Afterall, we just moved in 10.5 months ago and are the first to live in this house. I get it, I get it. Of course, it's silly right? OH, but look again:

Exhibit A: Just tonight I used a yard stick to knock a toy out from under the couch, and when I upset the carpet under the couch, a small cloud of dust erupted in front of my face. Yes, you read that correctly. Completely disgusting. So I immediately asked Steve to hold the couch up so I could vacuum every square inch underneath "at least five times, so bring your A-Game." I then spent over 20 minutes vacuuming one room. I stayed in one stationery spot, pushing the vacuum forward and back six times, then moved one vacuum width to the left, and so on. Even after all that, I can't get the carpet to fluff back up. It's all nappy and matted down.

Exhibit B: We moved into this brand new house 3 days after last Christmas, but before that, it sat empty, collecting dust for seven months. Must be how the dust cloud formed, and only vacuuming once before moving in and putting the couch over that spot just wasn't enough. Apparently. What else could be hiding between those cheap, baron threads?

Exhibit C (featuring Comic Sans, just for Meisha): Too bad this photo can't quite show you how dark this stain is. It was cleaned up less than one minute after happening, but that stain attractant just held on toooo tightly.

Exhibit D: The carpet installers sucked at their job. Every time I crossover from the living room to the kitchen, I play a little game called Don't Step On The Crack Or You'll Cut Your Foot.
And.... Carter's already old enough to shove his head into the corner of the couch to have a nap when he gets tired of playing.
This means we're WEEKS away from crawling, sports fans. Don't Crawl On The Crack Or You'll Slice Your Knees Open And Blood Will Gush Everywhere And Your Mom Will Completely. Freak. Out.

All I'm saying is, it's just a small amount of carpet... just a small living room and an eensie hallway. And I don't think it will look bad from the standpoint of the entry way if the crappy carpet going up the stairs doesn't perfectly match the upgraded carpet heading off to the living room...DO YOU???

Officially Relieved

It's hard to believe that six months have come and gone since our son was born. For most parents, the sixth month means sitting up, giggles, and the first little buddings of teeth. For us it means all that, but it also means permanence. Yesterday we had a very special day. We went to court to finalize our adoption and make everything official. A lot of adoptive families make a big deal of this day, inviting friends and family to court with them, a celebration afterwards. We didn't feel the need for all that, not because it isn't special, it absolutely is, but because it hasn't felt not-official up to this time...

It felt 100% official the second we walked into the hospital room the day he was born, nervous as can be, not knowing what on earth to say to this courageous woman asking to meet us to see if we were the right people to raise her precious son. How do you prepare yourself for a moment like that? How can you know the right things to say or the appropriate disposition to portray when meeting your future son's birth mother? Well you simply can't prepare. You just have to fill your pounding heart with courage and walk in the room. And if you're me, you can feel your pulse pounding through your fingertips and vibrating every strand of hair... until you see her face, smiling to welcome you into her hospital room. And then peace and understanding wash through you the moment your eyes meet. Yes, it felt 100% official the moment I met my son and his birth mother.

So we kept yesterday simple, because if court finalization means a huge, "ta-da! now it's official!" then what have the last six months meant? My mom came, and I'm glad she did because it was good to have some family there and our trial was timed perfectly in the middle of Carter's normal nap time. And yes, it was a trial. With evidence, witnesses called to the stand, and everything. And it all went smoothly, as we knew it would. If there was any problem, we would have known far beforehand. The judge kept things light, even asking me while under oath if I understood that my parental responsibilities would still be in place even when Carter becomes a misbehaving teenager.

After it was all done, we stepped into the elevator just outside the courtroom. I paused as I felt an unexpected feeling of relief seep through me. I hadn't worried about this day. I never once during the last six months thought about something going wrong with our adoption. I didn't realize I had anything to be relieved of. But perhaps even if I wasn't worried one bit, there is something to be felt about knowing things are official. Bona fide. Permanent.

Sneezing Is So Funny!

He thinks it is soooo funny when people sneeze or cough. Unfortunately I didn't get the camera out until he had been laughing for quite a while, so by the time I started recording, he was thinking this joke is a little OLD. The big long sing-song screech after the 2nd sneeze is his new favorite noise to make.

On My Way To The Office Today

The Name Game

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: Cocoa 3
(first pet & current car)

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: Chocolate Mint Milano
(fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie):

3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: M-Gor
(first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name)

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: Green Werewolf
(favorite color, favorite animal) 5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME:Lyn Orem
(middle name, city where you were born)

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: Gormc
(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)

7. SUPERHERO NAME: The Orange Fresca
("The" + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink)

8. NASCAR NAME: Lucy Lyn. Ha!
(the first names of your grandmothers)

9. STRIPPER NAME: Heavenly Bit-o-honey
(the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy)

10. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:WL Alan Terry
(mother’s & father’s middle names)

11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: Bezzant Boston
(Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter)

12. SPY NAME: Autumn Hydrangea
(your favorite season/holiday, flower)

13. CARTOON NAME: Strawberry Smocky
(favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”)

14. HIPPY NAME: Peaches Palm
(What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree)

15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME:The Inventing Raindrop Tour
(”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”)

Basement Progress

We've been working on finishing our little basement for months and it's finally starting to come together. We still have some finishing touches, but here is a preview, and I need your advice on a coupla things.

Behold, the enormous wetbar. I don't know why I couldn't picture its massiveness during the design phase. I was picturing this cute little nook and, well...shabang! But it's growing on me, the size is okay for the room its in and I think it'll be great now that we're starting to move furniture down there.

Still need kick plates under the cabinets and something on the wall. The flooring is stained cement and we're in love with it. Two questions:

1. What on the wall?
2. That faucet is a little "HELLO!" for a basement wet bar, right? Thinking of swapping it for our smaller kitchen faucet. Thoughts?

Really excited about these window treatments I found at Ikea. What you see before you is a set of six metal tracks with which to slide these panels of fabric...
The quaking aspens and the dark brown were pre-made from Ikea, the 3 privacy-creating camel panels behind them I sewed today. Because each panel is on its own track, all six pieces can be pulled to one side of the window to let in a lot of light.

Need advice: do these windows (there are two in this room with the same quaky treatments) need something above them? Like trim? These are one piece of nature in an otherwise very industrial looking family room.

The paint has more gray in it than the picture shows, but see my creativeness? Same shade of paint in two finishes: eggshell and high-gloss.

And now for the FRIDGE OF DEATH, brought to you by my entertaining husband. If Martha Stewart were a manly-man, her name would be Steve. When the guys come over for football night, he is quite the host. This is all just for tonight. I'm scared.

****All the above pictures were taken this afternoon about two hours before Steve's football-watching, X-Boxing buddies arrived. The deal is, they can stink up the basement for as long as they want, and I get a quiet, peaceful time with my friend Natasha upstairs. We chatted and created a sewing pattern tonight. She left hours ago and I've been catching up on the blogosphere ever since. Just now I thought I'd brave it and see how bad it is down there. Here are my findings:

Brand New Family Room View 1:
(3 TVs, 3 x-boxes, 3 players)

Brand New Family Room View 2:
(2 TVs, 2 x-boxes, 4 players)

And this is after a few have gone home.
And it smells like an enormous fart down there.
And the FRIDGE OF DEATH is now 1/2 empty.
And church starts at 9am.
It's 1am now.
Can I have some sympathy?