It's hard to believe that six months have come and gone since our son was born. For most parents, the sixth month means sitting up, giggles, and the first little buddings of teeth. For us it means all that, but it also means permanence. Yesterday we had a very special day. We went to court to finalize our adoption and make everything official. A lot of adoptive families make a big deal of this day, inviting friends and family to court with them, a celebration afterwards. We didn't feel the need for all that, not because it isn't special, it absolutely is, but because it hasn't felt not-official up to this time...
It felt 100% official the second we walked into the hospital room the day he was born, nervous as can be, not knowing what on earth to say to this courageous woman asking to meet us to see if we were the right people to raise her precious son. How do you prepare yourself for a moment like that? How can you know the right things to say or the appropriate disposition to portray when meeting your future son's birth mother? Well you simply can't prepare. You just have to fill your pounding heart with courage and walk in the room. And if you're me, you can feel your pulse pounding through your fingertips and vibrating every strand of hair... until you see her face, smiling to welcome you into her hospital room. And then peace and understanding wash through you the moment your eyes meet. Yes, it felt 100% official the moment I met my son and his birth mother.
So we kept yesterday simple, because if court finalization means a huge, "ta-da! now it's official!" then what have the last six months meant? My mom came, and I'm glad she did because it was good to have some family there and our trial was timed perfectly in the middle of Carter's normal nap time. And yes, it was a trial. With evidence, witnesses called to the stand, and everything. And it all went smoothly, as we knew it would. If there was any problem, we would have known far beforehand. The judge kept things light, even asking me while under oath if I understood that my parental responsibilities would still be in place even when Carter becomes a misbehaving teenager.
After it was all done, we stepped into the elevator just outside the courtroom. I paused as I felt an unexpected feeling of relief seep through me. I hadn't worried about this day. I never once during the last six months thought about something going wrong with our adoption. I didn't realize I had anything to be relieved of. But perhaps even if I wasn't worried one bit, there is something to be felt about knowing things are official. Bona fide. Permanent.
No comments:
Post a Comment