100th Post

Because I'm so profoundly creative and different from everyone else, I decided to post 100 things about myself in honor of my 100th post to Shrek Loves Fiona. Don't fall asleep, kay?

1. I have green eyes.
2. I was named after Jane Seymour’s character in Somewhere In Time: Elise McKenna.
3. My middle name comes from my Dad’s Mom: Lyn.
4. I started this blog in April 2005 while I was in Tawain for a month on business. It was a means to communicate with my family and preserve the amazing culture I was experiencing.
5. I’ve been addicted to blogging ever since.
6. I am 2 years, 2 months, and 2 days older than my brother.
7. I can only drink a half a can of soda. I have to save the can in the fridge and finish it the next day.
8. Strawberries are my favorite food.
9. Well, I guess they’re tied for first with cheese.
10. I’ve known my husband since birth.
11. My husband babysat me when I was 8.
12. I have a Chihuahua named Dino.
13. I count things compulsively. How many people in the room, how many corners and sides on architectural things, how many letters on a billboard, what license plate numbers add up to, etc.
14. Besides addition, I’m horrible at doing math in my head.
15. I have played the piano for 18 years.
16. It makes me feel old to say that I’ve done something for 18 years.
17. I have played the guitar for 15 years.
18. I used to play the saxophone
19. I used to play the flute.
20. Once I bought a cello after breaking up with my boyfriend.
21. My mom said it was “rebound love”. Maybe she was right.
22. I took it back after two weeks because I didn’t have time to take lessons.
23. One day I will learn to play the cello well. It’s my favorite instrument.
24. I write poetry that no one reads.
25. I draw pictures that no one sees.
26. I love scrapbooks but hate scrap booking.
27. I love to sing and I’m good at it.
28. I’m a horrible dancer but have always wished I was good.
29. Despite the relationship between #27 & #28, I find So You Think You Can Dance so much more entertaining than American Idol.
30. I have a really acute olfactory sense (sense of smell)
31. My favorite smells are of books and coffee.
32. So it’s probably no surprise to you that Barnes & Noble is my happy place. And every time I go there I leave with a brand new book. I can’t help myself. It’s a souvenir from my experience there.
33. I only go to Barnes & Noble twice a year.
34. My parents got divorced when I was 11.
35. It made everyone happier.
36. My son is Native American.
37. I am not Native American, but my 13^th great grandma was Pocahontas.
38. When I was single, I would buy a new outfit from head to toe at least once per week.
39. When I was single I hated doing my laundry so badly that I would buy new underwear every week.
40. Once I got married I realized I had an addiction to shopping. Filling my shopping bag was like filling me up when my heart was empty.
41. I still get the urge to blow a ton of money on absolutely nothing. Sometimes I go to one of my favorite online stores, fill my bag with $100s of merchandise, fill out the credit card information, and then abandon the website. It satisfies my shopping craving even though I don’t click “Submit”.
42. Sometimes I click down on “ Submit”, hold it there for a moment, exhale, then move my mouse off of Submit before releasing the mouse button so the order doesn’t go through.
43. I have to drink a full glass of freezing cold water right before I climb into bed or I can’t fall asleep.
44. I wake up every single night to pee.
45. I have a benign pituitary tumor. The pituitary is the “brain” for your hormones and endocrine system. If you were to draw a line through the inside of your head from ear to ear, and another line from the top-center of your head down, your pituitary sits where those two lines would intersect, and is smaller than a pea.
46. 5 years ago, I had an endocrine system upset that caused me to gain 80 lbs in less than 3 months.
47. I still haven’t lost the weight.
48. I grit my teeth whenever I’m watching a movie because I feel like I should be doing something more productive.
49. Still, one of my favorite things to do is watch movies.
50. I don’t like milk chocolate.
51. I love the darkest dark chocolate. The more it bites you back when you bite it, the better it tastes.
52. My sister, Megan, and I have six matching freckles in identical places of our bodies.
53. One of them is in the left peak of our upper lip. I like that freckle.
54. I like my eyelashes.
55. I hate my big toes.
56. I hate wearing socks.
57. I hate cold weather.
58. I love the marketing emails Crate & Barrel sends. I save every single one. Whoever runs their marketing department must be my kindred. They know just the eye candy to make my heart smile.
59. My hair is naturally curly and I don’t mind it one bit.
60. I’ve never seen Indiana Jones.
61. I’ve never seen Top Gun.
62. Get over it, I’ll get around to seeing them when I feel like it.
63. I have a mega crush on Wentworth Miller from Fox’s Prison Break.
64. My husband wouldn’t let me name our son Wentworth or Miller.
65. I constantly apply lipgloss throughout the day.
66. I started a perfume/bath & body/home fragrance company.
67. I designed a signature fragrance for my dog. It’s the perfect blend to combat mustiness.
68. Sometimes I wear the dog’s perfume.
69. I get a lot of compliments when I wear it.
70. I was the choir president in high school.
71. Just because you’re choir president in high school doesn’t mean you’re an innocent angel.
72. I love the game World of Warcraft, but only played the 30 day trial and didn’t renew, for fear of letting it take up too much of my time.
73. I’m a freak about techie gadgets. The latest, greatest cell phones, PDAs, mp3 players, external hard drives, laptops, hand held game systems, and cameras are absolutely irresistible to me.
74. I love me some bling, bling!
75. I love going to the symphony, ballet, opera, and playhouse.
76. I love all types of music from opera to metal; country to jazz.
77. I type 80 words per minute with 97% accuracy.
78. The reason I know this is because I was so desperate to leave a job that sucked the life out of me I was willing to settle for less than half my salary at a recording job for the city. The application process included a typing test. I had to cancel my interview appointment because the job that sucked the life out of me sent me to Taiwan.
    
79. I have traveled to Canada, Taiwan, Mexico, Belize, and Honduras. I don’t feel like I’ve truly seen any of these places, except for Taiwan.
80. I get a professional pedicure every few months.
81. I am a graphic designer.
82. I am a web designer.
83. I pick at my nose a lot.
84. In a previous life, I went to media make-up artistry school and did makeup for print work, television shows that never aired (or only the pilot aired), and a movie that won several awards at film festivals including Sundance.
85. When I tell people this, they assume I also know how to do hair, but I don’t. I strictly know camera makeup.
86. My first job ever was for an MLM company. I was 14 when I started.
87. I have never left the MLM industry since. I love it. And most people I know who have ever worked at the corporate office of an MLM never end up leaving the industry.
88. I could never be an MLM distributor. I don’t have what it takes.
89. I could, however, be a party plan distributor, but I’m not.
90. I am the most talkative person I know.
91. I love to say things for the shock value. I get that from my Dad. I put my foot in my mouth quite often for this.
92. Sometimes I get embarrassed about my feelings and push loved ones away.
93. When I first meet someone I’m really shy. Once I feel comfortable around them, I overcompensate for that early shyness.
94. I’m a people watcher. When I watch people I’ve never met, I can see through them and feel like I know them after only a few minutes. I’ve done this since I was a baby.
95. Sometimes I still listen to Ace of Base.
96. My favorite colors are green and orange.
97. My husband says I use exorbitant amounts of toilet paper. It’s because what if the wad is too thin and my finger pokes through?
98. I only drink bottled water.
99. I didn’t graduate from college.
100. My friends and family call me either Kenna or Ken.

You Can Have It, Mom

You never realize how much you rely on technology until your mother board gets fried and you have to go an entire day without a computer. My eye has been twitching since 9:57am, which is the precise time I realized I was hosed after spending a full hour trying to turn my computer on.

Now on to more important matters. About 2-3 weeks ago, I called my mom to ask her the name of the CD she puts in every Christmas morning. It blares through the house to wake us up for present-opening time. The reason I asked is because I was collecting data for a post I was writing called The Top 10 Christmas Albums, which I would post the first week of December. And I told this to my mom on the phone.

Well last week, I was at her house and mentioned again my top ten list and SHE says, "Oh no! I was going to do that!" And I say, "No way, Mom. The post is MINE." And she says, "Okay, you can have it."

Well, Mom, I'm giving it back to you. You can have the Christmas Music post. But please make sure that George Winston's December CD is among your list. Thank you, that is all.

That, and make sure you go read it when she puts it up here.

I know this was a really lame post but it's post number 99, so you should know what's coming next. This is me hunkering down for the epic 100.

Not in the dark! Not in a tree! Not in a car! You let me be!

We were on our way home from California visiting my family for Thanksgiving, 14 of us packed into my Dad's Suburban with our dead Camry in tow. We dragged it home all the way from where it broke down in the middle of absolutely nowhere, a.k.a Barstow, CA. Just about an hour shy of home sweet home, right after realizing we were almost done having to sit on top of each other for lack of space, my cell phone rang. It was my sister in law: "Dad was just taken to the hospital for what we think is a minor stroke. He spent the day Christmas shopping, then came home to string the lights across the roof. After finishing, he came in and stood over the sink with a sudden, shooting headache. He sat down, and that's when Mom saw it, his drooping face. It looks like everything will be fine, but come to the hospital as soon as you can."

We pulled into the driveway of our tiny apartment after the longest hour of driving ever, chucked our bags in the door and sped to the hospital just in time to watch his life flight hover off the pad to take him to a different hospital better equipped to help him. So we hopped in the car with Steve's sister and her husband to meet him at the new hospital. We joked on the way there about how if Dad were awake, he'd be flying himself to the hospital. Sure, it's no KC-135, but he would have insisted anyhow.

We met up with the rest of the family and the doctor told us he was confused as to why Dad was life flighted. He had a brain stem aneurism, and it's likely he was helpless before the ambulance arrived at the house hours earlier.

No! No! No! No! No! It wasn't real, it wasn't really happening, not for real, yet still only a couple hours later we found ourselves holding each other as we stood around his bed to let him go. We let him go. He was gone. Yesterday he was on the phone listening to us complain about our broke-down car. And now he was gone. It was some foggy delirium of tears and swollen throats. And then we woke up one morning and it was real. It really did happen, for real, and now the world is one amazing man shy.

That was five years ago and we still feel it. We still miss him every single day.
His kind and gentle heart.
His friendly arms that welcomed anyone from any walk of life.
His fierce love for his grand children, for camping, for flying, for toy trains.
For movies and movie popcorn and mexican food.
For family.
For God.

But as much as we pine, there's something about someone passing away that makes their influence on us even more powerful than when they were here with us. Now his example and his memory are an almost tangible treasure.

And as if in honor of the anniversary of that indescribable day, Steve just today announced to me that he refuses to put up exterior Christmas lights. Ever. Not at this house, not at our next house, not in a box, not with a fox. Why? Because clearly it's not a good idea for Gordon men to put up Christmas lights. Just look what happens immediately afterwards.

Alive

Don't worry, I'm very much alive after a very crazy week. So is my sweet, beautiful nephew, Rayder Davis Ricks. Have you ever seen such a gorgeous day-old baby? Born November 21st.

Confession

I do love me a little Kenny G from time to time.

Announcing The Treading Water Giveaway Winner!

Thank you all so much for your great tips and advice. Some of them hit right home with me and I'm already trying them out. So it's kind of funny who won to me because, originally I was going to just put the number of entries into a bowl and draw one. That is, until I was introduced to a randomizing service by Summer. So I decided to use said randomizing service for this contest and guess who won?

Um, yeah, it was Summer. So congratulations Summer, that's what you call good karma! Send me an email at kennalyn1 at gmail dot com with your mailing address and also a clue as to what types of fragrances you normally like (fruity, floral, woodsy, musky, sporty, romantic, any adjectives will do) and I will custom design a fragrance for you and send you a Parfum Spray, Nourishing Body Lotion, and Refreshing Shower Gel. Wee! It's so fun.

Thanks again to all! This was so much fun I think I need to do more giveaways in the future. One per month is sounding great to me right now, but let's get get hasty, I'm a busy girl!

Monday's Grace

My great grand-parents, Grace ("Mamaw") and Gudgell ("Papaw") passed away in 2002. Later that year, my uncle started gathering excerpts from their journals to publish for the family. I never thought I'd be impacted so much by such a thing as someone else's journal, but I cherish this collection of notes and look to it often for inspiration. Their entries are normally very simple, and Mamaw calls Papaw "Dad" most the time...

"We didn't get up until 9am. I had the wild eye and couldn't get to sleep until after 2am"

"I think I have the flu. I greased myself with goosle gozzle salve, took a contact and went to bed."

"What would us girls do without Dad? Fly apart I guess."

And then scattered through their humbling simplicity, I find absolute treasures like this:

"To my husband: I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out. I love you for putting your hand onto my heaped up heart and passing over all the foolish weak things that you can't help but dimly see there. And for the drawing out into the light all the beautiful belongings that no one else had looked quite far enough to find. I love you because you are helping me to make of my life, not a tavern, but a temple. Out of the works of my every day, not a reproach but a song."

PS - tonight's the last night to enter my Treading Water custom bath + body giveaway. I'm closing comments at midnight Mountain Time and will announce the winner tomorrow!

Editing myself in this post for the sake of keeping this a family-friendly blog

I'm what you call maybe just a little bit paranoid about my son's health. He's been spoon feeding a couple meals per day for about two months, and has now added just about every baby vegetable to his repertoire. But I haven't given him one fruit yet because I don't want him to fall in love with sweets and refuse the vegetables. I was thinking of starting fruits soon, like maybe next week, but this is just one example of how I've chosen to be a little more conservative than some moms. He won't be having soda, candy, icecream, or even a lick of popsicle for quite some time. Like maybe two years old. It's been made quite clear to me by many people that I'm being a little weird about this, but I don't care because I'M THE MOM AND I SAID SO. (That is the first time I've said that in my life if you don't count sassing my mom.)

So we just 30 minutes ago walked in the door from some Friday night shopping and a visit to Red Lobster. We ran into Steve's old high school buddy and his parents. We happened to be sat a table away from them at dinner and three quarters through eating, Steve's old friend's mom came over to take another peek at Carter and asked if she could hold him. Well, of course, so she took him back to her table, which was in perfect eyesight of us. We were kind of chatting between the two tables, when all of a sudden Steve's old friend's dad decided it would be funny to fill a straw full of Coke and empty it into my son's mouth. He. Fed. My. Six. Month. Old. Coke. I instantly made it very clear to him that I wasn't effing laughing at his stupid trick. I was in such shock I couldn't even finish my food. I thought I was going to throw up right there on the table.

I was sure I had made myself abundantly clear to this man, so imagine my surprise when a few minutes later, he started coming at Carter with a straw full of Sprite! This time I yelled, "No. Do. Not." ...and so he backed off, but I swear I'm not making this up, he said to us in the most condescending tone, "What, it's just Sprite!"

Blah, blah, blah, fast forward to when we're finally standing up and walking out of that hell of an uncomfortable situation when he still thinks the mood is light enough to throw in a, "Hey anytime you need a babysitter, just give us a call. You just hand him over to me and don't worry about a thing. Next time I'll give him Budweiser, it has less caffeine."

For the love of everything holy on God's green earth, please validate my anger and tell me I'm not over-reacting about this!

Okay, actually I feel much better. I feel instantly diffused now that I've written a few words about it and am about to post it out into the void. Of course I realize in the grand scheme of things, this little amount of soda won't hurt my boy. But still, I'm just saying... that's just crazy, right?

PS - Once your blood pressure drops back down to normal after reading this horrific nightmare, you should go enter my Treading Water custom bath + body giveaway.

Thirteen Minutes...

That's how much battery life I have left before this laptop dies. The power cord is 30 stairs below me in the cold, dark basement and I'm already warm in bed. So I'll be brief.

Phone text conversation between my 9 months pregnant sister and I, earlier today:

Kenna: Aren't you like in labor yet?

Mel: I wish. Pedicures tonight?

Kenna: Yep. Pick you up at 6. Do you think they'll mind that I haven't shaved in over a week?

Mel: Nah. I have a rash all over my legs. I win.

Kenna: They can't handle us sexy legged sisters.

Mel: Over a week? Really?

Kenna: I only have time to shave one leg per day and I'm several days behind because I've been putting on mascara lately. Something's gotta give, ya know?

PS - Have you entered my Treading Water custom bath + body giveaway yet?

How to Annoy Me

Tell me I can't have new episodes of my fave shows for the next few weeks because YOU don't think you get paid enough money. Well, I suppose I understand... I suppose. But I'm just saying. We're talking about a possible permanent shift to full-on reality tv, every night of the week. I don't think I can take it.

Here are a couple of delightful nuggets to help get us through the strike:

Dwight Schrute: "Agri-tourism is a lot more than a bed-and-breakfast. It consists of tourists coming to a farm, showing them around, giving them a bed, and giving them breakfast."

Barney Stinson: "Question one: Ted, do you want to move in with Robin?...Wrong! The correct answer is: No, I want to stay single and have fun with my awesome friend Barney. Question two: Robin, do you think you can find someone who's hotter than Ted? [pause] Correct! The correct answer is awkward silence.

Michael Scott: "Alright let me ask you this, tell me if you think this is creative. When I was five, I imagined that there was such a thing as a unicorn. And this was before I had even heard of one, or seen one. I just drew a picture, of a horse, that could fly over rainbows, and a had a huge spike in its head. I was five! Five-years-old. Couldn't even talk yet."

PS - Have you entered my Treading Water custom bath + body giveaway yet?

Treading Water Giveaway!

My son is now six months old. Now that the newness of parenthood is wearing off, and I'm starting to notice that a little bit of laundry should probably be done in lieu of 24/7 goo-goo-ga-ga play time, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. I am lucky to be blessed with two moms' examples to aspire toward, and lately I'm wondering how on earth they ever got it all done when we were growing up. Working full time, momming full time, fridge somehow always stocked with food, kids clean, house clean, and through it all I still have a lot of great memories spending time with my moms, and I remember seeing them relax every now and again too. Just yesterday I asked one of my moms how on earth she did it all and she said, "looking back, I have no idea how I did it all either!"

So I'm looking for ways to stay afloat. I'm buying an extra freezer for the garage this week, and plan to make a month's worth of meals for us to draw from using What's For Dinner? I met the author this past weekend at the Utah Women's Show, where I was a fellow exhibitor.

To stay on top of laundry, I'm trying to put one load -------- we interrupt the most boring post ever written for an emergency injection of participatory fun --------

Okay, give me your very best tip for saving time and/or money when it comes to anything in the domestic arena. I'll do a drawing one week from today and send the winner a bath and body gift set with a custom, one-of-a-kind fragrance that's to die for. If you're allergic to lotion or anything fragranced, that's okay! I've had a ton of allergic people tell me this particular product is the only scented thing they can wear. Totally safe for babies too! The rules are you have to leave an honest to goodness TIP, not just any comment.

Send this post to everyone you know who has or reads blogs. I want as many entries as possible... I need all the help I can get!!

Midnight Dumpster Run Confession

We live on a fairly new street that isn't finished being built. About 3 lots down is where the construction is still going on. Our estimations say 4 more houses on this street and we'll be dust free forever. I suppose the upside of it all is free access to three REALLY HUGE dumpsters labeled, "For private use only, violators will be fined $500," which is why we have to wait until after dark to dump our never ending loads of crap in them. Last night's dump (courtesy of our newly organized garage) felt a little heisty, because we kept having to drive around the block to wait for a construction worker to leave. Seriously? 9pm and you're still working, Construction Man? Why is it that any construction worker I have dealt with can't seem to show up on time or stay as long as he promised... and this one insists on working late into the evening?

"Hey Hon, What Should I Blog About Right Now?"

Steve: "Do a survey on when it's appropriate to put up your Christmas crap... because it's not now."

Okay, then, following are my arguments, and feel free to weigh in with your own.

Back in the day when most everyone bought real trees, they had to wait until mid-December to put them up, or they'd be a dried up mess by the time Christmas came around. Now that there are great looking, affordable fakies available for everyone, we aren't forced to wait. We can put them up as early as we want.

On the other hand, part of me feels a little grinchy about Christmas, and because people have come to expect my opinionated grumpiness and sarcasm, part of me wants people to think I don't care about the decorations. I don't want to be one of those people.

On the other hand, I really do care. I love it all, the lights, the ornaments, the packages and bows, the homemade candy (the one I can't wait for this year is the rice crispy caramels with the marshmallow in the middle made by Teresa), the music, ohhh the music! Let's get out the tree right now!

On the other hand, Christmas is about celebrating and honoring Christ's birth. It's about giving and re-committing, etc., and decorating with flashing lights, especially early, shifts the focus to commercialism.

On the other hand, is it really worth it to go through the four hour ordeal of hauling out all the glitter and stringing the lights and hanging the stockings with care, only to have to un-do the four hour ordeal two weeks later? If I'm going to spend the time, I want to enjoy it for at least a month.

On the other hand, bah humbug!

And there you have it. I'm a six-handed grinch!

Some say the day after Thanksgiving. Some eager folks say November 1st. I heard the first Christmas commercial on the radio weeks ago. So what's your take? When is it appropriate and why?