When he came last fall, I told Steve, right in front of Cletus, "You can install one yourself for 10 bucks like you did at our last house, can't you?" Steve smiled and nodded to Cletus, "Home Depot." But this didn't quell our determined Cletus like I thought it might, ohhh no! Didn't you know that The Home Depot does not have superior spy-hole-getting connections at its disposal like Cletus? Neither does Lowe's or Ace: I mentioned these to him as well, and let me just make it clear to you right now that you cannot find a go-go-gadget peeper such as Cletus' any.where.else. but through Cletus. Because Cletus is The Peeper Man! And he knows the secret phone number and/or internet address to get a peeper that can peep on your ENTIRE PORCH. And did I mention that you can't get this amazing peripheral peeper anywhere else? Well. You can't.
So this time when Cletus reappeared, we knew we had to bring a little more compelling explanation to the door in order to get back to our little family dinner before it went cold.
"Aww, Cletus, you're two months late. See, we just had a video surveillance system installed. As part of our home security package? Yeah, so when someone rings the doorbell, we just push a little button back in our kitchen back there? And voila! We can see the ennnntiiiire porch, isn't that amazing?"
And now I'm thinking, if I would have just paid Cletus his frick-fracking $45 bucks, I could avoid situations like this altogether. But then, I don't know, that might be a little too tempting for me. Why, I could go months and months without ever having to answer the door! Once I peeped to see who's on the other side, I could just keep on walking by (quietly, of course) and continue on with my evening. Yeah, maybe the peep hole is the way to go because right now? Not knowing who's knocking and still ignoring it brings me too much guilt. I HAVE to answer.
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