Back In The Saddle

Ok I know rule #3 for blogging is to never make excuses about why you haven't been posting... So I won't! I was going to wait until my one year anniversary of slackerdom, which I believe would be May 17th but SURPRISE! My three readers get an early treat!

I have always hated New Year's resolutions. My New Year's resolution is usually to avoid the peer pressure of making a New Year's resolution. Simply because it's usually just a set up for failure and I believe if you want to improve upon yourself, you shouldn't wait until the new year. Do it now. Same with starting diets on Mondays. "Well, it's Thursday now, so I'm going to go ahead and order the onion rings because my diet doesn't start for 3 more days." We do it all the time.

This year, I'm taking a different approach. I do have some resolutions, but I'm trying not to associate them with the new year because of how that pattern goes. One is to stop swearing and the other is to lose weight. Both are out of control.

About 4.5 years ago I had some sort of endocrine FREAK OUT and in a couple of months time gained almost 100 lbs. It happened so fast I didn't even realize it. It was like one day I woke up, looked in the mirror, and went... "whoa, I'm fat!" I went from a size 10 to a size 20 but I didn't have time to buy any of the sizes in between because it really happened that fast. There are still imbalances in my body from the FREAK OUT, but things have in general worked themselves out. Now it's time to get this weight off. The only problem is, I've been faking myself out with negative thoughts like, "My body can't lose weight because I've been diagnosed with PCOS and dis-metabolic syndrome, and Syndrome X" Yes there really is a "Syndrome X". If you Google it, you'd think I couldn't lose weight either, but it's time for me to STOP letting the negative things doctors have been telling me all along affect my mindset. These negative thoughts I've had the last 5 years have been a toxic and enormous contributor to my maintaining this unhealthy state. I really have tried healthy ways of losing weight. But all the while, in the back of my head, I've wondered if they will work because of my Syndrome X. That shred of doubt is what failed me.

So time to poke a little hole in my mitote and start a new agreement with myself: I can lose weight. I have the same miracle human body as everyone else.

I'll tell you later about my weight loss plan, but for now, every Thursday at 11:30am is weigh-in time. Last Thursday my starting weight was 252. Today it is 247.9. That's 4.1 lbs in one week, people.

PS - Mitote is a "dream" or a haze we all have that makes up our perception of the world around us. Read about it in "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. I love this book.