Wednesday, May 17, 2006

How to Annoy Me

Stand right in front of me in line at Old Navy. When it's your turn to go up to the only working register, spend 18.5 minutes explaining to the sales person that you were shopping in the store on Saturday, and while reaching for a pair of cargo pants high on the wall, you fell and you'd like to speak to someone straightaway about receiving some sort of settlement from Old Navy.

Or if that's not your style, you could also try being the sales person at Old Navy and not clueing into the fact that the lady talking to you already wants to sue you so it's probably a lost cause to scramble to find the right information to give her. She'll never become a faithful shopper again. Don't even pay attention to the fact that there's a huge line of dedicated shoppers waiting for your service.

How to charm me:

Stand right behind me in line and after 15 minutes call out "Do you mind if I check out real quick while you're figuring out that it's your lawyer you need to talk to, and not the sales clerk?" I almost - ALMOST - asked for her email so we could be friends. Virtual BFFs.

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